depression is not tragically beautiful
depression is not roses sprouting from wrists
it is not beautiful girls with delicate bones
it is lying in a pile of your own blood for hours
thinking that maybe if you keep on waiting
that maybe you’ll be swallowed up
depression is Tuesday mornings
spent puking up vodka
from last nights sleepless hysterics
depression is standing in your best friend’s bathroom
on some midnight in january
sobbing as you drag a blade across your wrist
depression is not being able to use red pens
or sewing needles anymore
depression is blood stains on your sheets
and rusty blades shoved under pillows
depression is sitting in a school stall
and carving your feelings into your flesh
depression is sitting in therapy
and swearing you’ll be okay
not knowing whether that’s the truth or not
depression is lying with dry eyes and staring at the ceiling
as you watch the alarm clock go off
missing another night’s sleep
it’s sleeping for days on end because it’s all you can do
to avoid the screaming of the demons
it’s missing schoolwork and failing tests
and yelling parents who don’t understand
it’s friends who see selfishness
and teachers who see laziness
it’s very rarely the golden girl
struggling through a difficult time
it’s blood and guts and tears
never beauty, never quiet, never calm
it’s screaming so loudly that your throat goes hoarse
but never hearing the sound come out
it’s not valiant, not admirable
not poetic nor enviable
it’s a bloody, harrowing, disgusting
I L L N E S S

crisping:

There’s something good coming to you, I promise. If not today, then some time later. Just you wait precious, it get’s better

The hardest thing about depression is that it is addictive. It begins to feel uncomfortable not to be depressed. You feel guilty for feeling happy.
Is it just a bad night or am I getting bad again?

i hope you fall in love with someone who makes you question why you ever thought you would be better off alone

(Source: lalondes)

vesley:

Wasn’t puberty supposed to make me hot

themanwithfrozenhearts:

im a really affectionate person once you get past my 5 layers of shyness, awkwardness, fear, vague dislike, and loneliness

sullied:

i am so jealous of all the people who are comfortable with who they are physically and mentally

foxgrl:

I wish none of you were sad

(Source: krakenguts)

(Source: suicidal-smiles)